Foods in "The Simpsons"

Originally by Jordan Eisenberg
Maintained by Marissa Sammy

A list of various foods that have made appearances on The Simpsons

"If God didn't want us to eat in church, he would have made gluttony a sin."
-- Homer, "King of the Hill (5F16)"

In the Simpson Home
7F23Marge takes potatoes au gratin to the Flanders' barbecue
7F24Bart eats Krusty Flakes (Krusty Hotline 1-909-O-U-KLOWN); Homer has two stacks of pancakes
8F01Marge makes "meatloaf men"
8F03Cereals in the Simpsons cupboard include Jackie-O's (free stretch pants inside!), Chocolate Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes (only sugar has more sugar!), Vitapillars, and Kelp Chex; Homer eats "Le Gourmet" ice cream
8F04Marge puts honey glaze on Homer's prize ham; promises to give the poor "something they'd actually like, instead of old limabeans and pumpkin mix"
8F05Marge serves Krusty meatloaf and pineapple upside-down cake
1F02Marge offers Burns and his lawyers tea and marshmallow squares; Homer watches commercial for a worcestershire soft drink ("mmmm -- steaky!")
1F06Homer eats honey roasted peanuts (ingredients: salt, artificial honey roasting agents, pressed peanut sweepings); Bart sets his traps with "floor-pie"
1F14Marge is roasting a turkey when she trips out on spiked Springfield water; Homer mistakes a waffle for The Lord; Marge and Lisa make fruit punch (using recipe from Fruit Punch Advisory Board) for picnic
1F17Homer prepares dinner and loads it with sugar; finds an Englishman has nicked some sugar for his tea the minute Homer turns his back on his sugar pile
1F18Marge suggests that Bart take a potato for show and tell because she thinks they're "neat"; Bart mistakes a bran muffin for a geode; Lisa tells Bart that everybody needs a nemesis ("Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello....")
2F07Homer passes up sex with Marge because he ate too many enchiladas; tries to talk to Bart but is distracted by the sticky, nutty, chewy, chocoatey candy bar Bart's eating; eats potato chips over Maggie while she's in a Snugli
3F22Marge makes rice krispie squares and Tang for Lisa's friends; Lisa eats Krusty-O's for breakfast and threatens Bart with the honey bear
5F08Marge makes lemonade for the kids; finds breakfast later in the form of "the red things that grow in this tree"
5F11Homer sticks his pencils in Marge's good butter
4F02Homer gets Hugo's weekly bucket of fishheads out of the fridge (also in there: a turkey & a bunch of purple grapes); Hugo later eats fishheads with a glass of milk; Simpson dinner consists of turkey, peas, mashed potatoes, and Hugo's napkin; Lisa's science project tests if cola can dissolve a tooth (science has already proven the dangers of alcohol & Chinese food); Marge promises waffles for breakfast but instead serves square pancakes
3F23Hank Scorpio brings a welcoming fruit basket & urges them to try the pineapples (full of papain!); Lisa is too stuffed up to taste Marge's delicious boiled celery
4F03Homer sits at kitchen table eating blueberry pie and orange juice
4F06Marge tosses salad while Lisa dances around her peach tree; Bart rinses his mouth out with soda and later claims that Marge punishes him by making him taste beer; Ned confesses he let Todd buy a box of Red Hots with a cartoon devil on it
4F04Family eats spaghetti & meatballs in front of tv; Marge glazes ham for dinner, but at table guests eat lasagne, asparagus, & mashed potatoes; Marge hides her Allied Biscuit crackers; leaves frozen hot dogs thawing in sink, which Homer eats plain dipped in a jar of mustard; Lisa gets cola from fridge; Bart's three cavities earn him Marge's specialty, Butterscotch Chicken

In the Workplace
7F23Vending machine only has apples
7F24Lenny & Carl save Homer a donut with pink frosting
8F03Bart makes a Manhattan for Legs; does shots of milk
8F04Homer pokes donuts to discern the fillings ("eeiw, lemon; ugh, cherry; ooh, custard; mmm...purple"); Burns demands a wine spritzer, and don't be stingy with the vino; Homer wins ham for averting meltdown
1F02Burns claims that they make cookies at the plant -- Mr. Burns' Old-Fashioned, Good-Time, Extra-Chewy Cookies
BABF22Carl and Lenny eat sandwiches and chips while Homer makes his Animotion pitch
3F23Homer motivates by offering donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come; Scorpio gives him sugar from his pockets and offers cream
4F04Allied Biscuit exec (with freeform cracker sculpture on desk) fires Kirk because crackers are a family food

Moe's (and any other Fine Drinking Establishment)
8F04Lisa follows Homer to Moe's and orders a chocolate milk
5F10In addition to The Pimento Grove, Krusty goes on a bar-hop including The Gutter Room (stein of beer; sixpack of Duff), Blotto's (skein of wine/mead), The Bloated Liver (champagne from glass slipper, then from boot, then from Stanley Cup)
AABF20The Java Server ("Grand Opening --")
4F03Moe says boxers eat steak & lobster & salad bar all in a single meal with the dressing of their choice

In the School
1F17Lisa claims she likes to "smell her lunch"; class diorama projects include Nelson's "Grapes of Wrath" and Uter's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
1F18Nelson brings a tomato paste can and reads the label ("Ingredients: fresh pureed tomatoes, water, salt, sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage"); Mrs. Krabappel feeds Martin's cookies to the dog ("My Raisin Roundies!"); Lunchlady Doris cooks with Assorted Horse Parts, now with More Testicles ("More testicles mean more iron!"); Willie gets Lunchlady Doris to grease him up; Flanders proposes to put the "stew" back in "students" and has peanut butter cups, Yoo-Hoo, and Slice in his office; Milhouse goes wild by rubbing ketchup on his stomach
CABF15 Groundskeeper Willie's special puke-absorbing sawdust blend contains cinnamon

The Kwik-E-Mart
1F18Bart gets gargantuan cone at the self-serve

At Other People's Houses, Public Buildings/Areas, or In Vehicles
1F17Homer eats pizza while driving and makes Bart steer; finds crashed sugar truck ("White Gold! Texas tea!...sweetener!!")
1F18Skinner offers Bart a diet caffeine-free Dr. Pepper or individual fruit cup; grills sausages for Bart on barbecue; Bart says he though he heard somebody mention Skinner in the cafeteria but they might have been saying "skim milk"
AABF20Homer imitates a child's voice in the bank to get a treat ("Daddy, ask the man for some candy?"); Homer breaks into Ned's house, finds him eating milk & cookies, and makes himself a sandwich; the 33-cent store offers strange foods (Cool Ranch Soda, Onions?, Skittlebrau, Plankton [may cause red tide poisoning]); in Japan, Lisa wants to go to an authentic noodle house and Marge wants to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich; Homer buys $150 square watermelon, eats $50 pretzel at a sumo match, and is served tea and rice in prison; the family works at the Osaka Seafood Concern; Bart says he'll miss Japan's Kentucky Fried Chicken
4F03Drederick Tatum discusses blackened & sauteed sea bass with Charlie Sheen at a boxing match
4F05Larry Burns offers Waynesport squash candy to the train passengers; says Burns has more bread than a prison meatloaf; Burns answers his door drinking a lime rickey; at the Springfield Glen Country Club Buffet, Larry tries to eat the entire shrimp cocktail platter
4F06Burns' & Smithers' picnic consists of a rack of lamb and a soup tureen; environmentalists serve kelp burgers; the Maison Derriere is described as the sauce on your steak, the cheese in your cake, the clams on your linguine
4F04Homer buys Marge a truckstop Carvel ice-cream cake shaped like a whale ("For a Whale of a Wife")

Restaurants and Food-Producing Places
1F17Goldsboro's Honey
1F18Skinner takes Bart to Luigi's ("they'll make a pizza pie with the topping of your choice,"); Bart returns alone later and is given "a plate of the red crap"
AABF20At Americatown, they sit at the Massachusetts table and gawk at the price of coleslaw (10,000 yen)

Events, Festivals, Fairgrounds and Amusement Parks
4F05 Mount Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill
-Flanders family shows up wearing apple hats
-Flanders explains the difference between cider and juice; "If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!"
-Marge buys two jugs of cider and an apple pie (which Abe sits on) to take home
CABF15 Church Ice Cream Social: "A sundae service you can swallow!"
-Lovejoy has "Crucifixins" with flavours like Blessed Virgin Berry, Commandmint, Biblegum; Unitarian ice cream has nothing there
-Mrs. Lovejoy serves Homer one Tower of Babel cone ("and build it to heaven!")
-Frink creates the first intra-bovine ice cream maker, Mootilda; Cletus successfully orders "the darkitty kind" but Marge's request for a swirl is refused with a kick to Frink's groin
-Hibbert cures Nelson's brain freeze with 50 cc's of hot fudge ("you may feel a slight chocolatey sensation")
-Ned thinks that Rachel also likes plain vanilla ice cream with nothing on it, but it's just that Bart and Milhouse have eaten all the toppings
CABF15 Praiseland
-Ned offers Ralph a Noah's Ark of jellies and when Chief Wiggum asks if there's two of every flavour, Ned tells him no ("they're all the same -- plain!")
-Lenny exclaims "A Bible park without beer? Now I've seen everything!"
-Carl complains about the candy being sub-par ("Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson.")
-Comic Book Guy's gas-induced hallucination is about being Spock and eating a burrito
-Burns & Cletus toast with champagne and moonshine respectively; Nelson breaks bread on Martin's head
BABF22 The Totally Sick, Twisted, F***ed Up Animation Festival
-Princess Tempura employs her "Prawn Power" in the anime "Transformazoids"
AABF20 Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show
-Homer hopes to win free dinner at Americatown
-he also hopes there isn't an ice-cream round
-fake lava is orangeade made by Osaka Orangeade Concern (loaded with wasabi!)

7G02After the opera, Homer and Bart go get a burger
7G03Marge goes back to her job at Mr. Burger
7F04Homer cooks burgers in the backyard
7F11Lisa doesn't want hamburgers
7F12Young Homer and Barney go grab a burger
7F17Homer stops at Krusty Burger
7F18Hamburgers and fries in England are called chips
7F20Bart wants to go to Krusty Burger
7F21The family eats at Krusty Burger
7F23Ned's barbeque serves burgers
8F03Maybe Skinner was ground up into hamburgers and served for lunch
8F10Marge works at Mr. Burger
8F20Sideshow Bob picks up Krusty Burger wrappers
8F21The "Good Morning Burger" advertised
9F03Krusty Burger seen
9F06"Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat than another burger?"
9F08"Where's the beef?" heard; Krusty gives away free burgers; Homer eats burgers
9F12Krustsy Burger seen
1F06Homer eats a mound of burgers at Krusty Burger
1F07Madam Chao's was nice enough to make Homer and Mindy cheeseburgers
1F09Big T Burgers and Fries
1F12Grampa puts his false teeth in a burger
1F20Homer teases the Krusty Burger order box
2F01"Itchy & Scratchy Land" serves Brain Burgers (cheeseburgers)
2F03Jimbo Jones is made into hamburgers
2F05Burgers and fries at the Springfield Laff'N'Brew
2F10Homer and Marge set out for a romantic evening at Krusty Burger
2F12Homer beats up the Krusty Burgler at Krusty Burger
2F13In the country Rand MacNally, Hamburgers eat people
2F17Hollywood Cafe serves Mogul Burgers
2F31Krusty Burger exposed in "Eye on Springfield"
3F03Homer flips burgers at his BBQ; Lisa walks by Krusty Burger
3F04"Where's the beef?"
3F05Krustsy Burger turns the wall transparent
3F09George Bush tries to decide between a cheeseburger and a crusty burger
3F11The family eats at that dump, Krusty Burger
3F12Krusty Burger becomes I.R.S. Burger; Krusty has a new burger named after him
3F18The police eat at Krusty Burger; Skinner disguises Krusty Burger as his own cooking
3F21Hullabalooza sponsered by Krusty Burger
3F23"And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!"
4F01Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney found rancid eggs behind the dumpster at Krusty Burger
4F03Krusty Burger ad in Springfield Coliseum
4F06Empty burger wrappers in garbage pile; Marge and Lisa are offered kelpburgers
4F13Loneliness, cheeseburgers and the Comic Book Guy are a dangerous mix
4F21Johnny Welfare's old lady has the munchies for a California cheeseburger
5F18Served at "Up, up and Buffet!"
5F19OFF (except for Lisa) eat manwiches
5F20Homer and Bart collect grease at Krusty Burger; grease is like a hamburger milkshake
5F21Homer eats a burger while driving; Frink invents hamburger earmuffs
AABF05Homer and Mayor Quimby collect "change" at Krusty Burger
BABF21Homer orders a "donut burger with cheese" at Krusty Burger
CABF08During an antacid trip, Homer flashes back to a burger he ate in the '80s

Pickles / Cucumbers
7G01Homer eats a pickled egg
The Simpsons have pickled beets in their basement
7F06Homer was gonna play pickle with Bart
8F08Moe offers Aerosmith free pickled eggs
8F16Bart 'plucks the pickle'
8F24Bart licks his pickle, but Homer puts the pickle in his milk
9F02Homer sings "Blimpy Boy" with a pickle
Lisa has cucumber slices over her eyes
1F01Homer sings the McDonalds song, mentioning pickles
1F08Jar of pickles in Bart's casino
1F10Apu can no longer tell people about the Kwik-E-Mart's fried pickles
1F19Bart is as cool as a cucumber
3F01Ned Flanders serves sliced cucumbers with cottage cheese
3F08Pickle brine sent to Krusty's food drive
3F11Mr. Burns pickled the figs on Homer's 'welcome' cake himself
3F18Skinner's "steamed hams" have pickles in them
3G02Baby Lisa counts Moe's pickled eggs
4F22Moe's customers draw pickled eggs
5F21Frink's hamburger earmuffs will be on the market while Homer's still struggling with the pickle matrix
AABF02Mr. Burns can't open his pickle jar
BABF19In the words of Principal Skinner, "Awards and honors are great, but they don't pay the pickle-man."
CABF14Homer keeps his disembodied thumb fresh inside Moe's pickle jar
CABF16Homer thinks Ned is offering him a pickle

Ned Flanders uses the term "That's a dilly of a pickle" (or a similar phrase) in 1F07, 2F19, 3F17 (actually, Homer said it in that one) and 3F22.

N/AThe Simpsons have corn on their kitchen curtains
7G11Homer walks by the Caramel Corn Warehouse
8F01Corn is on the Springfield state logo (also seen in 3F01)
8F10Pregnancy test comes with a corn-cob pipe
9F22Sideshow Bob needs to buy more corn holders; Grampa can still eat corn on the cob if someone chews it into a nice, fine paste
1F10Apu stacks delicious corn on the Simpsons' countertop
1F19Lunchlady Bart offers Jimbo Junior some creamed crap ... er, corn
1F22Bart cools himself with frozen corn
2F04Children run from their parents through a cornfield
2F08Little Marge runs from a biplane in a cornfield
2F33Marge can really identify with a certain corn-fed heroine.
3F05Homer vents gas, destroying a cornfield
3F08According to Grampa, Charles Lindbergh flew the Wright Brothers' plane fifteen miles on a thimbleful of corn oil
3F11The Bumblebee Man tries to eat corn on the cob
3F13Pilgrims trade the Indians guns for corn, but the Indians shoot them and take the corn
3F14Marge misses Lisa's line because she left to get corn (partially cut in syndication)
3F16Grampa's corn muffins were lousy
3F17Have Bart and the boys arrived in the vast cornfields of Canada?
4F01Lisa's music class performs "Jimmy Crack Corn"
4F07"Corn Nog" available at the Kwik-E-Mart
4F11John comments on the Simpsons' corn-covered curtains (cut in syndication)
4F19Corn falls to the ground as a silo explodes
4F24Lisa's classmate, Becky, creates a corn field out of pipe cleaners
5F06Homer and Snake drive past fields of corn
5F11According to Bart, Lybia exports corn
5F15Springfield Elementary gets a shipment of "pure" creamed corn
5F19Homer tastes pesticide off of an ear of corn
AABF11Chief Wiggum tells a truly tasteless joke about hot, buttered corn
AABF14Goliath II eats corn on the cob; Bart/King David climbs the Tower of Babel with corn holders
BABF16Homer sings "Jimmy Crack Corn"

mg37Bart eats popcorn at the "Space Mutants" movie
8F07Homer eats popcorn while watching "McBain"
8F22Bart eats popcorn while watching "Space Mutants"
9F04Homer eats popcorn while watching TV
9F09People eat popcorn at Homer's operation
9F10Popcorn truck explodes on main street
9F13Chief Wiggum eats popcorn while watching "Debbie Does Springfield"
9F22Bart eats popcorn during Sideshow Bob's "H.M.S. Pinafore"
1F01Man eats popcorn while observing Homer
1F02Some nerds of note include popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher
1F05Dr. Marvin Monroe eats popcorn at the Do-As-You-Feel festival
1F16Appears as Burns sings "Let's all go to the Lobby!"
1F22Chief Wiggum eats popcorn as Marge and Homer swim naked
2F09Orville Redenbacher is one of the stonecutters
3F05Homer obstructs popcorn production; later, Homer is offered a garbage bag full of popcorn
4F05Homer and Larry eat popcorn; Chief Wiggum tastes the same popcorn later on
4F10Lenny and Carl make popcorn during a fire alarm
5F06Homer chokes on popcorn
5F21CBG eats popcorn in the couch gag
5F24The Simpsons eat popcorn while they watch "Paint Your Wagon"
AABF07Insurance policies come free with the popcorn at the Springfield Drive-In
AABF10Homer tries to kill a rhinocerous with popcorn
BABF16Legendary filmmaker Robert Evans talks about the reaction to Love Story by "John Q. Popcorn"
CABF01The Simpson family roasts popcorn on an open fire

Hot Dogs
7G02Principal Skinner is a weiner
7G04Homer tells the police he has hot dogs in his pockets
7F01Mr. Burns says "Hot dog!"
7F05Mr. Burns suggests one to his employee; Homer eats one during the big game
7F15Principal Skinner is still a weiner
7F24Homer watches a "hot dog" on America's Funniest Home Videos
8F03Principal Skinner is still a weiner
8F04Mr. Burns says "Hot dog!" again
8F06Homer buys Apu's three-year-old ornamental hot dogs
8F11Hot dog stand is set up near Timmy O'Toole's well
8F21Young Homer eats hot dogs in the back seat of his car
9F06Homer drops his hot dog into a wading pool
9F07Hot dog-shaped vehicle at the car show
9F09Man eats a hot dog at Homer's operation
9F12Dolphin at Marine World steals Homer's hot dog
1F04Hell dispenses assorted body parts as "hot dog meat"
1F10Apu sells hot dogs encrusted with filth
1F15"Hot dog, we have a weiner!" said by Marty and the DJ 3000
1F18Skinner barbeques some hot dogs for himself and Bart
1F21Simpson family sings the "Armour Hot Dogs" song
2F03Homer eats some hot dogs for extra energy
2F07The kids watch hot dogs at a stock footage festival; Homer plants a hot dog tree as a kid
2F31Jay Sherman and the family sing the "Oscar Meyer" theme; Chief Wiggum gets caught in Apu's hot dog-rolling machine
2F32Hot dog vendor follows Homer to the hospital and cemetary
3F03Marge suggests hot dogs for Lisa; Lunchlady Doris serves a hot dog bun as a vegetarian meal; Apu sells tofu dogs
3F08Part of Krusty's food drive
3F11Apu yells the word "hot dog" in order to convince a customer he speak no english
3F18Apu and Sanjay attend a party where hot dogs are served
3F23On Fridays, Scorpio's lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer
3G01Leonard Nimoy gets horseradish on his hot dog
3G03Angry audience throws a hot dog at Krusty; Apu sells hot dogs, along with milk, from 1984
4F04Marge thaws hot dogs in the sink for Homer
4F08Homer accidentally stabs himself with a hot dog
4F09Skinner disguises Armour hot dogs as a bomb; Santa's Little Helper eats them
4F22A bird in New York steals Homer's hot dog
5F08Mice are hosed off of the carnival's hot dog cooker; Skinner says "Hot dog!"
5F13Ralph thinks the electric chair smells like hot dogs
5F20Apu cleans the grease out of his hot dog cooker; now all you can taste is the hog anus
AABF04Marge serves hot dogs to Homer
AABF07Technical director Stan Kadlubowski eats a hot dog
CABF09Duff's secret plans are thwarted when Homer points out that their hot dogs contain Southwestern ingredients

7G07Homer: "Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?"
7G11Homer orders pizza while Marge is out
7F11Lisa doesn't want to eat pizza for dinner; Slice of pizza in Barney's apartment
7F13Reverend Lovejoy mentions instant pizza pie
7F18Homer, on a diet, pledges there will be no pizza too laden with delicious toppings
8F02Burns and Smithers eat pizza
8F03A pizza delivery truck has been parked across the street for weeks
8F11Wall E. Weasel carries a pizza
8F12Pacific Islanders watching the Super Bowl eat pizza
8F14Krusty-brand duck sausage pizza
8F21Young Homer eats pizza in the back seat of his car
8F23Disgarded pizza boxes are an excellent provider of cheese
9F03Homer promises pizza if the kids are good; Bart suggests poison pizza; Bart imagines Santa's Little Helper to be a box of pizza
9F06Homer orders pizza from the courtroom
9F09Homer eats pizza in bed; Baby Homer somehow gets hold of a pizza
1F03Homer recognizes solid waste as former pizza
1F14Shelbyville made the world's largest pizza, so Springfield burned down their city hall
1F15Pizza on the kitchen ceiling
1F16Bart wants a pizza delivered by Krusty the Clown
1F17Homer eats pizza while Bart steers the car
1F18"Luigi's" makes a pizza pie with the topping of your chioce
2F05Chief Wiggum won't take his winning hockey team out for pizza, because he bet against them
2F21The Springfield Police Department orders a pizza
3F02Uncle Moe serves awesomely outrageous southwestern pizza fingers
3F12The moon hits Krusty's eye like a big pizza pie
3F31Lionel Hutz promises a free pizza if his case is lost (outtake from 1F04)
4F01Pizza in Nelson's house
4F06Pizza box on the floor
4F08The mob invades Luigi's pizza shop
4F13Homer eats pizza (cut in syndication)
4F22Homer can't reach the pizzaria from his parked car
4F24The Leaning Tower of Pizza falls over in "When Buildings Collapse"
5F15Homer and Mojo eat pizza
5F20Luigi brings the kids free pizza
AABF01Dr. Nick cuts Homer's head open with a pizza slicer
AABF06Pizza in Homer and Ned's hotel room
AABF08Homer gets a coupon for Doughie's Pizza
AABF21Homer gives a bad review to the slice pizza he finds under the couch because it has a Hot Wheel on it

Pork Chops
7G08Homer buys a squeaky pork chop toy for Maggie
7G09The Bigfoot Diet: "Pork Chops Aplenty"
7G10Marge orders pork chops at the Rusty Barnacle
7F04Kang and Kodos serve pork chops to Homer
7F09Marge makes her famous pork chops
7F11The family hasn't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87
7F11Homer's never heard of a poisoned pork chop
7F16Uncle Herb's chef will make pork chops for Homer at any time
7F18Homer pledges there will be no pork chop too succulent to spoil his diet ... and starts on pork chop night
8F14Homer calls Maggie his "little pork chop"
8F17Pork chop night will now be chub night
9F04Marge uses pork chops to symbolize a witch's brain
2F18Santa's Little Helper and his girlfriend are served pork chops on the street
2F31Homer and Jay Sherman fight over the last pork chop
3F03Homer can't believe pork chops come from the same magical animal as bacon and ham
3F10Homer wants roast beef instead of pork chops ... you clod!
3F19The family (except for Lisa) eat pork chops for dinner
AABF04Marge serves Homer two servings of pork chops
AABF21Homer criticizes Marge's "Shake n' Bake" pork chops
BABF18Becky helps Marge make porkchops for dinner

Dog Food
MC08Bart gives Homer a dog biscuit instead of a Butterfinger
mg15Bart thinks his dinner tastes like dog food
8F17Homer resents that the dog gets to eat meat
8F23Maggie wants what the dog's eating
4F16Homer thinks eating dog food will get Bart's dog back
4F23Bart theorizes that Skinner likes dog food
4F24Apu's "can of mystery" may contain dog food
AABF08Ralph thinks he has a package of dog food

Springfield Recipes

(by Dave Sweatt)

Bart's America Balls
[4F23] The principal and the pauper
2 cans of dog food, any brand
(do not substitute dry dog food)
roll the dog food into 1 1/2 inch balls and place them on a serving tray
garnish with tiny american flags on toothpics
makes 24 servings

Chief Wiggum's Chilli
[3F24] The Mysterious Voyage of Homer
5 gallons of water
quesosakatenango chili peppers from Guatamala (to taste)
combine ingredients in a large pot
cook until boiling
serve immediately
makes 5 gallons

Milhouse's Vaseline on Toast
[4F01] Lisa's Date with Destiny
2 slices of bread
3 tbsp. of vaseline
toast the bread to desired darkness
spread vaseline evenly on each piece of toast
makes 2 servings

Homer's Space Age(out of this world) Moon Waffles
[9F01] Homer the Heretic
1 package of caramel squares
2 cups waffle batter
1 bottle liqiud smoke
1 stick of butter
place caramel in the waffle iron
pour on waffle batter
add liquid smoke to taste
cook thoroughly
take the stick of butter and wrap the moon waffle around it
place it on a toothpic and serve
makes 1 unfortunate serving

Tom Collins Pot Pie {ms}
pie crust
tom collins mix
add cloves and tom collins mix to pie crust
makes 1 serving

The Good Morning Burger {sb}
18oz ground beef patty
6-8 tbl. of rich creamy butter
8 stripes of bacon
4 slices of ham
3 fried eggs
sizzle the ground beef, bacon, ham, and eggs on the grill.
place the beef on a bun, the top with bacon, ham and eggs.
soak in butter.
makes 1 wake up serving

Ned's "Nachos Flanders Style"
[1F14] Homer loves Flanders
3 sliced cucumbers
1 cup cottage cheese
spread cottage cheese on ONE SIDE of each cucumber slice and place on a serving tray
makes approx. 24 servings

Ned's "Key to looking young" anytime Snack
[AABF06] Viva Ned Flanders
2 slices of white bread
1 glass of water on the side
dip the bread in the water as you eat your way to keeping your youthful looks
makes 1 serving

Patty and Selma's Tongue Sandwich
[8F14] Homer Alone
2 slices of bread
1 tongue
place the tongue matter between the two pieces of bread
makes 1 repulsive serving

Marge's edible ear plugs
[3F08] Sideshow Bob's last gleaming
1 cup flour
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cumin (Marge says 'what the hell'?)
1/2 cup water
mix flour, salt and cumin in a bowl
slowly work in the water, kneading the dough as you go
form into small shapes that can fit in your ear
cook in the oven until the timer dings
serves 12 people

Marge's Patented Happy Cracker Snack Platter
[4F11] Homer's Phobia
1 dozen Ritz crackers
1 can Cheese Whiz
1 jar of olives
1 jar of pimentos
place crackers on a serving tray
use olives as happy face eyes
use pimentos as happy face noses
create smiley mouths with spray cheese
makes 12 servings


Flaming Moe
[8F08] Flaming Moe's
1 shot Tequila
1 shot Schnapps
1 shot Creme De Menthe,
1 tbl. Krusty brand Cough Syrup
mix tequila, schnapps, and creme de menthe, then add cough syrup
set on fire, pause briefly, then extinguish the flame
makes 1 serving

Homer's Lawn Mower
[5F19] When you Dish upon a Star
2oz. vodka
1 bunch wheatgrass
place wheatgrass in a juicer to yield 6oz.
mix wheatgrass juice with 2oz. vodka
makes 1 8oz. serving

[5F03] Bart Star
2 pkg. Skittles
1 6pk. Duffenbrau
add Skittles candies evenly to 6 12oz. cans of Duffenbrau
chill briefly
makes 6 servings

NOTE: You may want to use caution when preparing Skittlebrau. When Skittles are added to beer -- though I have not, of course, tried Duff -- it creates a scary sort of chemical reaction, causing the beer to foam uncontrollably. {jd}

Marge's Homemade Pepsi
[5F20] Lard of the Dance
2 1/2 cups chilled brewed coffee
5 tbl. confectioners' sugar
5 cups chopped ice
Combine coffee, sugar, and ice, then blend
it may turn out a little thick, but the price is right!
makes ~1 gallon

Flanders Planter's Punch
[7F20] War of the Simpsons
3 shots of rum
a jigger of bourbon
a little dab-a-roo of creme de cassis for flavor
Mix quickly, serve with ice, and go easy on the drinking!
makes 1 glass

Other Drink Suggestions

[4F05] Apple cider
"If its yellow, you've got juice there fellow. If its brown, your in cider town."
[3F21] Springfield Municipal Water
"If its brown, drink it down. If its black, send it back."


{jd} Jennifer Dixon
{sb} SS Bob
{ms} Mike Schmitt

Thanks to Martha Corbett for suggesting a pork chops list.

All contributions are welcome!

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Expiration dates last changed on November 02, 2004 by Marissa Sammy (